So here's one I've shared with only a small handful of people. It will take a bit of set up so that the impact of the story brings a fuller understanding.
The church I attended as a teen was The Rock of Gainesville, located in Gainesville, FL. It was an Apolistic Pentacostal church meaning the pastor, or apostle, was a direct mediator for god and what he shared with his flock had the weight of scripture and godly interpretation behind it. In other words, his laws were gods laws. One of his Big Things was dating, he was (and still is) rabidly against dating. Many super fundamental churches are against dating and prefer parent-led courtship in its stead. This church was no different except they dressed very normal and with style and fashion. No forced long hair or prairie dresses in this church, they had to be appealing to the college set in the town, and to do so they had to hide their true intentions so they were garbed as sheep in wolves clothing.
I had eagerly awaited my sixteenth birthday. Sixteen was a magical age full of promises: a drivers license, my very own beat to hell car, and dating. On my sixteenth birthday I got my drivers license, the keys to my car, and a diamond promise ring. My father slipped the ring on my finger in front of my very uncomfortable friends at my birthday party and forced me to pledge my purity to him.
I vowed never to date and to keep my purity for the man god chose for me to marry. It was uncomfortable and awkward but I did it quickly so we could get back in the pool and splash around. I also didn't want my friends to see what freaks my parents really were and tried to just be excited about having my very own diamond engagement ring and distracted them with the sparkle and shine so they didn't focus on the oddity of my life.
Shortly after I turned sixteen, a young man in our church began to show interest in me which was not reciprocated in the slightest. He was older, at least 20 if I recall correctly, unattractive, and a bit slow. I tolerated his presence because I felt sorry for him. He was a bit of an outsider and the chirch's youth group royalty didn't have much use for him. So I'd hang out and talk with him at church and youth services and he'd tag along with my friends and me. He always sat next to me during church services with dogged determination. If someone was sitting next to me he'd just stand there and stare at them until they moved and he could sit in his usual spot. It made me very uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to stop it.
The pastor began a series at some point when I was sixteen called How to Find a Mate if You Aren't Gonna Date. He even wrote a book, which is available on Amazon.com ( http://www.amazon.com/God-Sex-Dating-brings-blessing/dp/1930027273/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1424613807&sr=8-3&keywords=George+brantley ). It was a sermon preached over several weeks and rapidly became church doctrine. He'd already been sharing snippets from the pulpit, but finally had the fire lit to really share what god had laid on his heart, a conviction so to speak.
The basic gist is that you are not to date. God will reveal your future spouse to you during prayerful meditation. You are to sit on this information and be 100% sure, read your bible, pray, and meditate on the revelation before approaching your parents who will do the same thing. Idea
Ly, at this same time, God will be moving the heart of your intended and they will be doing the same thing on their end. The parents will come together joyfully and decide to begin a courtship period. At no time are you or your intended to be alone, touch, or form a physical relationship but are to remain pure and true in thoughts and intentions.
So during this series of sermons, I was sitting with my sister and our friends with the guy sitting next to me. One particular sermon stands out the most. I was in my seat with my sweater laid over my lap, I was always cold in church and often brought an extra sweater jacket to lay across my lap so I could be somewhat comfortable. As we were listening to the sermon I felt something touch my leg. I brushed my hand across the side of my thigh and felt his hand jerk back. The guy was touching my thigh! I quickly looked back at the pastor and squirmed slightly closer to my sister. Then I felt it again. I looked forward, concentrating so hard on the pastors words, willing his hand away silently. It didn't go away.
He sat there fondling my thigh for some time before it began to creep inward to my inner thigh. My jacket prevented anyone from seeing what he was doing and I couldn't do anything to stop him. He massaged my inner thigh for a bit before moving down until he could reach my vagina. He sat there in church, listening to a sermon about not dating, and caressed an underaged girls clitoris through her skirt and panties.
I was miserable. I mentally ran down a list of things I could do: stand up and scream for him to stop, shove him away, or cry for help. None of it would work, it would draw attention and it would be my fault for letting it happen, for drawing his attention and leading him to lust for me.
I tried to push his hand away, but it would return moments later. So I sat there, listening to a sermon telling me to remain pure for my intended, while a man fondled the one thing that should be touched by one man alone. I was now tainted and ruined in gods eyes and there was nothing I could do.
My sister noticed what was going on and whispered to her friend sitting next to her. She then leaned over to me and hissed "make him stop!" in my ear. I whispered back that I couldnt, he wouldn't stop and my sister whispered back and forth with her friend for a bit before they both turned their shoulders slightly to turn their backs to me and show me I was held responsible and being shunned. It was my fault he was doing this and because I didn't stop it, I was enjoying it and allowing it to continue.
I didn't tell anyone. My sister and our friend confronted me in the parking lot after service and gave me a thorough reaming. They also talked to the young man and after that he never sat next to me or even bothered me at church again. I was ultimately responsible in my peers' eyes and nothing I could say or do could convince them otherwise.
The basic gist is that you are not to date. God will reveal your future spouse to you during prayerful meditation. You are to sit on this information and be 100% sure, read your bible, pray, and meditate on the revelation before approaching your parents who will do the same thing. Idea
Ly, at this same time, God will be moving the heart of your intended and they will be doing the same thing on their end. The parents will come together joyfully and decide to begin a courtship period. At no time are you or your intended to be alone, touch, or form a physical relationship but are to remain pure and true in thoughts and intentions.
So during this series of sermons, I was sitting with my sister and our friends with the guy sitting next to me. One particular sermon stands out the most. I was in my seat with my sweater laid over my lap, I was always cold in church and often brought an extra sweater jacket to lay across my lap so I could be somewhat comfortable. As we were listening to the sermon I felt something touch my leg. I brushed my hand across the side of my thigh and felt his hand jerk back. The guy was touching my thigh! I quickly looked back at the pastor and squirmed slightly closer to my sister. Then I felt it again. I looked forward, concentrating so hard on the pastors words, willing his hand away silently. It didn't go away.
He sat there fondling my thigh for some time before it began to creep inward to my inner thigh. My jacket prevented anyone from seeing what he was doing and I couldn't do anything to stop him. He massaged my inner thigh for a bit before moving down until he could reach my vagina. He sat there in church, listening to a sermon about not dating, and caressed an underaged girls clitoris through her skirt and panties.
I was miserable. I mentally ran down a list of things I could do: stand up and scream for him to stop, shove him away, or cry for help. None of it would work, it would draw attention and it would be my fault for letting it happen, for drawing his attention and leading him to lust for me.
I tried to push his hand away, but it would return moments later. So I sat there, listening to a sermon telling me to remain pure for my intended, while a man fondled the one thing that should be touched by one man alone. I was now tainted and ruined in gods eyes and there was nothing I could do.
My sister noticed what was going on and whispered to her friend sitting next to her. She then leaned over to me and hissed "make him stop!" in my ear. I whispered back that I couldnt, he wouldn't stop and my sister whispered back and forth with her friend for a bit before they both turned their shoulders slightly to turn their backs to me and show me I was held responsible and being shunned. It was my fault he was doing this and because I didn't stop it, I was enjoying it and allowing it to continue.
I didn't tell anyone. My sister and our friend confronted me in the parking lot after service and gave me a thorough reaming. They also talked to the young man and after that he never sat next to me or even bothered me at church again. I was ultimately responsible in my peers' eyes and nothing I could say or do could convince them otherwise.
